For those of you paying attention, you\u2019ll have noticed that I didn\u2019t completely address my friend Steve\u2019s suggested topic in my last post. For those that did, very good, yay you. Now put your hand down and give someone else in the class a chance to answer. For those that didn\u2019t: well, now, why don\u2019t you just go right back to that post and catch up with the rest of the class? We\u2019ll wait. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n No hurry\u2026\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n Any time now\u2026\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n Good? Good.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n So, just to level everyone up, the original prompt was, \u201cThe benefits of longstanding friendships, and how to keep those friendships over time and distance–and through a rough patch too.\u201d \u201cWell, now, what are those benefits that you didn\u2019t even hint at last time, Mahoney?\u201d I hear you asking your screen. Two things to note here: firstly, your screen can\u2019t really answer that question, now can it? And secondly, read on!*\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Benefit #1: You can count on me! <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \n I count myself extraordinarily lucky. I have friends I keep in (irregular) touch with dating back to my freshman year of high school \u2013 this, despite being an Army brat who attended 6 schools in 7 years up to that point. While I had always made friends quickly, until my high school years I\u2019d never had lasting, important, deep friendships. But these friendships are with friends that can ask me for virtually anything. If Mike McDonell* were to call me at 3:48 AM tomorrow and say to me, \u201cMAHONEY! I need $322 in $2 bills, a case of Pepperidge Farm Parmesan Cheese Goldfish, a six-pack of National Bohemian*, and a 1974 Ford Pinto Country Squire, and you need to meet me in 45 minutes at the corner of Florida and North Capitol!\u201d* my only response would be, \u201cWhat color Pinto?\u201d. Having longstanding friendships can mean not only someone has your back (maybe despite what they know about you!), but also that someone knows you have theirs, too. It\u2019s the psychological equivalent of Linus\u2019 security blanket.*\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n Benefit #2: I can count on you! <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \n When I look closely at my longest friendships, an identical thread runs through those fabrics* – history. Which is, yes, kind of \u201cle Duh!\u201d obvious \u2013 but wait! With that history comes perspective, and that perspective can be invaluable. Regular readers know I\u2019ve recently joined a new team, one I cannot tell you how excited and proud I am to be a part of. But the transition from one engagement to the next can be fraught with doubts, second thoughts, third doubts and fourth thought about the second thoughts and third doubts. The spiral down can be fast, deep, and dark. Friends-with-Tenure* can help you see the path you have been on, and the path ahead by future of being detached from the immediate while deeply understanding the whole person.*\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n Benefit #3: They know, you know? <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \n This, perhaps, can be both a blessing and a curse. The shared history, experiences, stories bring a level of comfort, shorthand, and easy familiarity that can be more welcome than a hot chocolate in February. And the good times are better for that. Perhaps* more importantly, the bad times aren\u2019t quite so. I firmly believe Spider Robinson was right when he has a character in his novel Callahan\u2019s Con restate a familiar sentiment: \u201cShared pain is lessened. Shared joy is increased. Thus we refute entropy.\u201d\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n Benefit #4: Laissez les bons temps rouler! <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \n At least , one hopes the good time roll on. But when they don\u2019t, even though we may love our family like family, those friends who have been with you for the long ride can often be just what the doctor should have ordered. They can listen and support without some of emotional and psychological weight that often exists in familial relationships. While some of us agreed to, \u201c\u2026 in sickness and in health,\u201d when committing to our significant others, longstanding friendships handle the downs at least as well as the ups.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n \n These are, as per usual, only barely diving into the benefits of longstanding friendships. They are often few in number and countless in impact. What do you see as beneficial?\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n \n Thirdly: yes, I know what with Siri and Google and Alexa most of our screens are passively, and often actively without prompting, listening. But that kind of statement is best noted way down here in a footnote, now isn\u2019t it? \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n * I first met Mike in 1986. We last spoke to one another in-person in 2015 (maybe?). <\/p>\n\n\n\n * I live in Culpeper. The intersection of Florida and North Capitol is in Washington, D.C.. I\u2019d easily make it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n * If you know, you know <\/p>\n\n\n\n * What? I just watched \u201cA Charlie Brown Christmas\u201d, gimme a break! <\/p>\n\n\n\n * You were expecting Friends-with-Benefits, weren\u2019t you? <\/p>\n\n\n\n * If you remember to ask, and stay open to their insights. Which, as my very dear friend Al recently reminded me, I\u2019ve not always been. Do as I say, kiddies! <\/p>\n\n\n\n * I\u2019m perhapsing a lot today. Sorry <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For those of you paying attention, you\u2019ll have noticed that I didn\u2019t completely address my friend Steve\u2019s suggested topic in my last post. For those that did, very good, yay you. 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