It\u2019s January. I\u2019ve just returned to the real world having spent a delightful time away from my everyday. I got to hang out with my family, both nuclear and extended. I had a DELIGHTFUL conversation with one of my uncles, officiated at my cousin\u2019s wedding, walked in the woods, ate my weight is food\u2026 what could I possibly have to rant about?!?<\/p>\n
I\u2019m so very glad you asked!<\/p>\n
People who can\u2019t park<\/strong><\/p>\n I mean, really<\/em><\/strong>! Everyday I watch people (OK, guys in stupid-large pickup trucks called \u201cRaptor\u201d or \u201cPowerWagon\u201d or \u201cBigOleHonkinMericanSteel\u201d or some such) utterly mangle their parking job. Largely because they insist <\/em><\/strong>on backing into the space. This, despite three factors:<\/p>\n Just. Park.<\/p>\n Forgetting the one thing I really went to the store to get<\/strong><\/p>\n Yes, it\u2019s my rant and I\u2019ll rant about my idiocy if I want to! But oh, Lord preserve us! EVERY time I think to myself, \u201cOh! Good! There are things on the list in the list app on my phone that I take everywhere and is practically surgically attached to my person, so I can go get the one thing I really want to go get, how convenient to have this excuse!\u201d I completely forget to put that ONE THING onto the @%#@^#^@%^#ing list on the app on my phone that\u2019s with me everywhere night and day.<\/p>\n Every<\/p>\n Time<\/p>\n Grrr.<\/p>\n Spam Phone Calls<\/strong><\/p>\n Enough said.<\/p>\n Technology<\/strong><\/p>\n More specifically, technology in cars. Even more specifically, my car. Look, I know this will upset someone out there, but I blame West Virginia. See, there was this one soccer tournament trip where, as soon as I drove across the border between Virginia and West (by God!) Virginia, the electricians in my car completely<\/em><\/strong> flaked out. Now, look, it\u2019s not because it\u2019s a British sports car (well, sedan. But a sports sedan!) (And yeah, ok, it\u2019s also a Jaguar, but that NOT it, I swear, it\u2019s ^&%$%&^%#$@#$%@%ing West Virginia\u2019s fault!). But since that trip, the infotainment system has never been the same (and I have witnesses! Both my wife and a son experienced this! I am NOT making this up!). Yesterday it decided it was going to recognize neither the USB nor the Bluetooth connections to\/from my phone.<\/p>\n Yeah, yeah. I hear you telling me to go back and read that \u2018graph over again and check your over-privileged white a$$ before you come and wreck same. One, you\u2019re not wrong. And two, it\u2019s my rant\u2026<\/p>\n In World War II the pilots and crew of fighter planes and bomber would refer to the Foo Fighters (from whence the band gets it\u2019s name) as the root cause of the problems encountered during a flight, even after having inspected and verified the part that is now completely useless was, in fact, certified as fully operational and tested mere moments ago. Foo Fighters. Gremlins. Whatever. My car is infested with them (Both, in all likelihood), and it drives me bonkers when stuff like this happens. I blame West Virginia.<\/p>\n Whew! I feel better. But what about you? Rant in the comments! Shared pain is diminished, and sometime someone else\u2019s rant is funny and makes us laugh. And you can\u2019t be angry when you laugh. So rant, and make us laugh!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It\u2019s January. I\u2019ve just returned to the real world having spent a delightful time away from my everyday. I got to hang out with my family, both nuclear and extended. 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