Oh, for the love of all that is good and holy, why on earth would I follow up the clichéd listicle with GOALS of all things?!? Seriously, most days I don’t know what I’m thinking, either. But hang on…
My youngest son waved at me to get my attention and pointed to the TV (where he was watching VA Tech swim against… someone) as I walked up from my office and into the kitchen (I swear that sink was empty when I went downstairs, how do those dishes replicate themselves like that?!?). I wrapped up my call (I am enamored of the “walk and talk” of The West Wing, and emulate that style of meeting whenever possible), and asked, “What’s up?”
“Dad! He got a 51! I’m at 55, and my goal is 51 this year! I can DO THIS!”*
I’ve seen my son excited before, but not quite like this. He started swimming about the same time he started playing soccer, 6 years old or so (my wife will correct me as I’m sure I wrong about that age, but note for the record I said “or so”). He tried two different year-round swim teams in the past, but decided to focus on soccer and stick to summer swim. After a terrific summer season a couple of years ago he asked us if he could try a new year-round team. Our deal remains the same with both our boys: we’ll gladly support you and pay the necessary, but if we agree to support you, you’re committed for at least that full season – no bailing out midway. He was, and remains, all-in, and I couldn’t be prouder of his commitment.
But that excitement today! I’ve not seen the like, and NEVER in the context of a goal. In fact, I’m pretty sure the only prior goals he ever spoke about were those scored on the soccer field (or pitch, when we’re watching Arsenal, let’s go you Gooners!). What changed? What had him excited, and what can we learn from him, when it comes to goals? So very glad you asked:
He moved out of his comfort zone
Much has been written on this by others, but it certainly bears repeating. By approaching your work, career, hobby, family, or any other part of your life with a different perspective, and challenging your status quo, you glean insight that can yield new excitement. My son decided to challenge himself by committing to a sport for a full season, minimum. And by changing his mind, by being open to the new and unfamiliar, as hard as it’s been, he’s grown.
He found a great coach
Again, much has been written on the benefit of a coach in your professional life (mine has been essential to my success and growth, and any failures are completely my own because I ignored or failed to execute on the coaching!). But truly, my son would not be nearly as excited about getting to practice, let alone setting and working towards goals, as he is were it not for his coach. He scolds, corrects, encourages, teaches, cheers and consoles every one of his swimmers where they are, and where they need to be. The coach is that impartial-yet-involved third party that sees what you can’t and keeps you honest with yourself.
He set goals, better
Not set better goals, though that may be something to consider. But I do mean set goals in a better manner, one that is more conscious and intentional. Yes, this will mean work, and not the kind you can rip out the night before it’s due like back in school. This better goal setting needs to leverage focused reflection and careful scrutiny of where you are (or better, who you are), and where (who) you want to be, by when. Goals need to be clear, concise, and time-bound. As you know by now, I’m a fan of the work of Michael Hyatt and the team at Full Focus. I use their SMARTER framework every wintertime to structure my goal creation and setting.
He measures, reviews, resets and recommits as necessary
Yes, I know I’ve mentioned the whole Druker thing before, but here’s another one. What gets measured gets managed, sure, fine (and yes, I know this quote is from Drucker). Except measuring isn’t enough, and everyone hates management (I mean, you’ve seen the news about all the strikes, right?). But reviewing goals on a regular basis help you understand where you are in relationship to where you started (le duh, as a colleague likes to say), but also where you are as it regards the goal itself – is it still relevant, challenging, helpful? Sometimes a reset is warranted, a return to “go” and a do-over. Other times a recommitment to the goal after missing or not quite completing the identified milestones is the most helpful and effective tactic. Regardless, review, review, review. And cut yourself a little slack, too.
Thoughts of you own on goals? A comment, critique, or conundrum? You know what to do…